Adoption FAQ
(Frequently Asked Questions)

Each story is unique, but a common thread is stepping out into the unknown, without all the answers, without every 'I' dotted and 'T' crossed.  Most parents say that God seemed to put adoption on their heart initially. They then stepped out in faith and prayed that God would open the doors, and lead them to the child meant for their family. Often adoptive parents can point to circumstances or things about the child that confirm God’s handiwork.

Absolutely, because the child becomes “your own” in a special way.  It is nothing short of miraculous how God can bring together a child from one part of the world and parents from another, and bond them together with love that is as strong as it is for a birth child!

Cost to adopt internationally ranges from $12,500 - $40,000, including travel expenses.  (Currently, adoptions from Ukraine are averaging $20,000 - $30,000 for one child.) The cost is spread throughout the process.

1. Have you done home studies before?
2. For domestic or international adoption?
3. Have your home studies been used for interstate adoptions? For the specific country I am looking to adopt from? (Check first with your adoption agency if it is a requirement for the home study agency to be approved to do home studies specifically for the type of adoption you have chosen)
4. When did you last do a home study for the type of adoption I am doing?
5. Can you do the necessary clearances (if appropriate, for your state) for the home study?
6. Have you worked with my "placement agency" before? When?
7. Can I review the report before it goes to my agency/attorney/USCIS?  
8. (Know that in some instances, you are NOT allowed to see it prior to release)
9. Who sends the report to my attorney/agency/USCIS?
10. How long does the home study process take?
11. How much does the home study (and any additional documents or post placements) cost?
12. Can I call you if I have questions during the process? After the adoption? Will it cost more?

If you include the time it takes to build up to making a decision about adopting in the first place, it can be years.  But once the process begins, international and domestic adoptions range tremendously in length of time to complete, from a few months to a few years. An average would be 6-18 months.

After the dossier is received in final translated form in Ukraine, the time for travel has ranged between 2 to 5 months. The average stay in Ukraine is approximately 4 weeks with some adoptions taking up to 6 weeks in country depending on which region the adoption occurs. Additional time would be added if the 10 day appeal period were imposed. Please note though that times have varied considerably throughout the last ten years, and it is likely that they will change again due to the political situation in Ukraine. Hopes are high that the process will be more streamlined in the future.

Judges in Ukraine can (will) impose a 10 day appeal period. Exceptions are occassionally made for children in need of immediate medical attention. Families have the choice of remaining in Ukraine for 10 days after the court hearing or leaving and returning to pick up the child after the 10 day appeal period has expired. A number of regions waive the 10 day appeal period. Ukraine does not require families to work with an agency and Ukraine does not require post placement visits by social workers. However, Ukraine requires the family to file an obligation letter in order to adopt. The family promises in the obligation letter that they will register the child at the Ukrainian Consular office in the USA and send annual reports with photos to the Consulate until the child reaches 18 years of age.

Basically, a home study involves assessment and education. The social worker, on behalf of the adoption agency, wants to make sure of two things:

1. you are suited to be an adoptive parent, and
2. you have an appropriate place to raise a child.

The home study lets the adoption agency get to know you while you learn more about the adoption process. The entire home study process can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months, depending on how quickly the meetings with your social worker can be arranged and how quickly you can gather all the necessary information.

For more information, visit our homestudy page.

Honesty is absolutely the best policy if you have anything at all questionable in your past such as drug use, alcoholism, or an arrest.  Tell your social worker about it – go into detail about what you have learned and how you have changed your life for the better.  If these things are truly in the past, your social worker will understand.  No one has a perfect past, and everyone has occasional lapses in judgment.

A history of instability in either your work or personal life could cause trouble for your homestudy.  Have you changed jobs frequently, bouncing from employer to employer? This may indicate you have difficulty holding down a job – and thus would have difficulty providing consistent financial support for your child.  Have you had several marriages and divorces, or is your current marriage in serious trouble? This is also a sign of an unstable lifestyle that will raise a red flag for the social worker. A life-threatening health problem could also impact your adoption

Trying to hide unsavory things in your past will ground your international adoption journey because chances are the truth will come out anyway, either via your criminal background check or in your reference letters.  If you’re caught lying about something in your past, you will likely not pass your homestudy because your social worker will be unable to trust anything else you say or do.

The meeting at the SDA can test your nerves! It is important to present yourselves neatly and politely in all ways. After waiting to get in to your appointment, you will meet a psychologist who will ask you questions about your preferences for a child (gender, age, region and medical conditions you would accept.)  Most people report that the psychologist shows them binders of referrals to children with severe medical disabilities and diseases. This can be alarming if you are not prepared to remain firm to your request.  Please consult with someone who has experienced an SDA appointment for details on the experience, as it does vary.  Plan to pray that you will be matched up with a suitable child.  A referral to a child should result (but is not guaranteed) and then you will be on your way to make arrangements to meet the child.

Things to bring: a small photo album for the psychologist to see your home and family if requested, but do NOT waste precious time going over it in detail.  You are allotted one hour and should plan to spend that time reviewing binders for matches.

Dress comfortably but well. A jacket (with or without tie) for men and a dress pant suit or nice dress for women.

Many times the things God inspires us to do involve risk.  Throughout the process of adoption, you will be asked what "type" of child you are willing to parent.  Faith, knowledge and perseverance can be the key to a successful adoption experience.  If you willingly adopt a child who is physically disabled or has emotional difficulties, educating yourself takes much of the guess work out of parenting children with these conditions and will likely result in a better experience for all involved.  If you decide that you are being lead to parent a healthy child, you must still be prepared for the potential risk of parenting a child with certain conditions that may be unknown at the time of adoption.  Be realistic about the type of situation you choose for your existing family, but remain flexible and willing to take on potential issues that may come up after your new child comes home.  Remember that NO child is perfect, but all children are valued by God!

God can speak in many ways, and sometimes you will know immediately that “this is my child.” However, many people report that while introductions to children are cordial, it can take time to really bond with the child.

No. Many of the children in the orphanages are not available for adoption for a variety of reasons. They may have relatives that keep a relationship but cannot afford to take care of them. For this reason, the SDA forbids “pre-selection” of any child in the orphanages. Ukrainian law mandates that you first must be “approved’ by the SDA. You then receive a referral to one specific child and you travel to meet them.  If it does not work out, you must return to the SDA in Kiev for another referral.

Families prepare a dossier of documents which must be approved by the officials at the National Adoption Center in Kiev, Ukraine. After dossier approval, families are given appointments to travel to Ukraine. There is no pre-selection of children permitted in Ukraine. Families first see referral information about prospective children at a meeting with officials at the National Adoption Center in Kiev. Families receive approval to make contact with a child and then travel to the region where the child lives.  Families can travel back to Kiev to view more referral information on other children and can repeat this process during an adoption trip to Ukraine.

In all adoptions, families prepare a dossier of documents which are submitted to a licensed translator who has the family's power of attorney. These translators can be found independent of an adoption agency or through an adoption agency. Ukraine does not allow adoption agencies to set up offices in Ukraine. The translator is employed directly by the family and will guide the family through the entire process in Ukraine. There are many sources for paperwork assistance in the USA.

The SDA provides some detail about the child’s medical history, but most of the real detail will come from the orphanage staff/caregivers, and later from the child themselves.  The child will also undergo a physical exam prior to leaving the country. Many families report that their child was diagnosed with an ailment that turn out to be minor, or was curable in the US. However, there are very real health risks for children raised in poor countries and who have been institutionalized.

Children can often be developmentally delayed due to the deprivations of most institutions, and some have stimulation-related adjustment issues. Some are behind in learning simply because they have not had adequate schooling for their age.   They can sometimes have learning disabilities, ADD or auditory processing problems. Occasionally, more serious problems such as tuberculosis, hepatitis, HIV, or bipolar are present. Fetal alcohol effects (FAE) and fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) are issues that face some children in Eastern Europe.  Attachment issues can be minor, or life-long such as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).  Be sure to research the issues surrounding these afflictions prior to travel!

Orphanage kids have routines and will stick with them – for a while at least, so be sure to inquire what daily life was like for your child before leaving.  This can help them adjust to their new life.  Some adjustments are to American food, family routine, the longer school day, the busyness of American life, etc. Sometimes trust issues are present and it may take awhile for the child to feel secure, or to know that you are in charge, and are not going to leave them. When a child has experienced hunger it may take awhile to realize that there will always be enough food. Language and culture can be an adjustment that takes time. Most families report that the biggest adjustment is living in a family!

They certainly can, but in general we found the children in Ukraine to be ready for family life, indeed craving it.  They love the idea of having a forever family, and for most it is their only hope and dream.

For the most part older adopted kids adjust amazingly well and quickly.  While the transition to conversational English happens very quickly, often understanding “academic English” takes quite a bit longer. Sometimes it takes quite awhile to understand expressions and inferences, especially if the child’s early life lacked stimulation. Sometimes memory issues are present. Parents have sometimes dropped their Ukrainian child back a grade to give them more time to “catch up” academically and socially.

It depends on the school. Public schools may assess the child and provide ESL classes. Private school without this option may not.  Assisting the child with their entry in to the school system should be discussed with school staff prior to enrolling them.

There will be a lot of “charades” at the beginning, but soon you will discover that the language barrier is quite surmountable.  Normally, within 3-6 months, your child should transition over to all English. It is amazing how fast it happens! It can be very helpful to enlist the assistance of a Russian (or Ukrainian) tutor or speaker who can explain things that will invariably occur in the first weeks. “We are going to the doctor this week” and “You will have your eyes checked by a special doctor – it won’t hurt” – this can be very helpful to convey and allay fears. It also gives the child a chance to ask you questions.

Coming from an environment with many children surrounding them, Ukrainian orphans usually are accustomed to groups and may find one-on-one attention more of a challenge.  Often the biggest transition is from living in an orphanage to living in a family, especially if their experience of “family” was dysfunctional. Many times young children are less sophisticated than their American counterparts (sometimes refreshingly so!). But this can often be a challenge socially for the child.

See “charades” above! Having a picture dictionary on hand helps. Unless you have mastered some Russian, you will use simple words and questions at the beginning and move on to more complete communication fairly steadily.  The transition to English goes pretty quickly.

If the child did leave family behind, it would be very natural for them to miss them.  They may want to call and write to stay in touch. You need to be flexible about helping with this part of their transition, but be aware that they may eventually “forget” what they left behind and no longer dwell on it.  They may also have a distorted view of what they left behind – and see their past through “rose colored glasses.”  Some children, however, have bad memories and don’t want any connections with Ukraine. They may feel uncomfortable with any efforts to keep a connection with the past.  However, age and perspective, and patience on the part of the adoptive family will help the children to get through issues they may have to deal with, such as abusive pasts.