Nancy’s Story
We encourage God’s people to reach out to orphans. Heart for Orphans is passionate about supporting orphans to adulthood and encouraging their faith in Christ.
A History of Heart For Orphans
“Nancy, wake up. We’re almost here” My husband Steve shook me. I had just spent a fitful night with little sleep, only to finally doze off before dawn. The train compartment where we slept was hot and oppressive. Between the heat, the shouts and slamming doors at each station, and my nervous stomach, I was wide awake. Instead I laid there crying and praying, “God, please let me know that you’re guiding us!” It was November 2001 and we were on an overnight train from Kiev to Berdyansk, a small seaside city in southern Ukraine. It was a scene right out of Dr. Zhivago, the snow and ice outside, the smell of coal and vinegar in the air and the train compartment with leather seats and lace curtains. A brisk knock on the door and a babushka brought in tea from the samovar in the hall. I lifted the lace curtain back and wiped the steam off the window as we pulled into the station. There was a sea of gray faces with furry hats and coats swarming the platform. As I look out I had an overwhelming thought, “Today I’m going to meet someone who will be part of our lives for the rest of our lives. She will be our daughter, and her children will be our grandchildren. And right now she lives here, on the other side of the world in a strange and foreign place.” We were on our way to adopt a little girl…
We quickly got off the train and made our way through the crowd, trying to keep up with our translator. The ancient PA system cackled Russian announcements and then a patriotic anthem played. As we packed our stuff into the tiny taxi, I thought, “I should be excited. Why am I so scared?” How did we get here?
Life had been good the past few years. Steve and I had active lives, busy careers, and a grown son. We were empty nesters, and should have been content to just enjoy life. Yet we were both a little restless. I had spent 20+ years in television – as an actress and producer, but in recent years I had lost my passion. I just didn’t have the same drive and excitement I once had. When I look back, I think that God was changing my heart. Steve and I began to pray, “God use us somehow”. We didn’t want to waste our lives.
For the next several years it seemed that seeds were being planted in our hearts about adoption. Different things began to happen, like the fact that I was asked to be on the board of an adoption agency. Another time we received an odd phone call asking us if we were interested in adopting some kids. Finally we took notice and said, ”Maybe God is guiding us to adopt?” The whole idea seemed crazy to me. After all, adoptions cost a lot of money. Money that we didn’t have! And did I really want to start over raising a baby? We were probably too old anyway. Steve suggested we pray that if it were God’s will for us to adopt He would make it clear and provide the money. So we did. Within the next several months, amazingly, money began to come in! We both landed good contract jobs and our tax refund was larger than expected. I knew why.
We decided to take the first step and have a home study done. I still had no idea where we were being led and I was excited but also a little terrified! I tend to research things to death and was a little frightened of potential problems. But Steve put it well when he said, “If God is truly directing us why should we be afraid? Whatever problems we may have, ultimately don’t we want to be in His will?”
When our home study was almost complete, the social worker asked us again what age child we were wanting, and whether we wanted a child from overseas or from the States. We didn’t know. Steve told her that unless God “put it directly in front of us” we would do nothing else. Two weeks later I was asked to go on a mission trip to Ukraine. On the last day of that trip we visited two orphanages. Our guide was an adoption facilitator, and I spent the rest of the day learning about the situation in Ukraine at that time. In the late 90’s there were about eight hundred thousand kids in private and state-run orphanages, and almost as many kids living on the streets. The need was great. When I returned home, Steve and I prayed about it. We knew God had put it “directly in front of us”. After several stops and starts, we eventually left for Ukraine right after Thanksgiving, 2001.
At that time, prospective parents were interviewed at the National Adoption Center in Kiev and once approved, were given permission to visit an orphanage, meet several available children and then pick out the child they would like to adopt. I have a difficult time making minor decisions, let alone major ones! Steve and I kept saying that we didn’t know how we could ever make a decision like that! Still we pressed on and prayed that God would make it absolutely clear to us which child is ours. What would she be like?
When we got to the orphanage, I was so nervous I was shaking. We were brought into the director’s office. One-by-one several children were brought in to meet us. The very first child we met was Natalie, a cute nine year old girl with big green eyes and bubbly personality. She recited a poem in Russian about a butterfly and she was so animated that my heart melted. I began to cry. I knew immediately that she was the one! It was like a voice inside me shouted, “That’s her!” Steve felt the same way. When the director told her she was chosen she jumped for joy! She clung to our sides and started calling us Mama and Papa immediately.
When we got back to the states, so many people wanted to meet her and were captivated by her quirky sense of humor. Many began to think about adopting themselves. We’d hardly been home a few months with Natalie when Steve started talking about going back for another. At first I wasn’t interested. I was exhausted and still adjusting to life with a new child. And certainly we couldn’t afford it. But I agreed to pray about it anyway. A few days later Natalie began to talk to us about her friend Angelina. She told us Angelina cried when she told her that she was being adopted and leaving the orphanage. But Natalie said, “Don’t worry. I’ll ask my new Mama and Papa if they can come and get you, too!” I asked her why she didn’t tell me this before. She said, “I forgot. I just remembered!” What could I say? So nine months later we found ourselves on that same overnight train from Kiev to Berdyansk.
When we met sweet Angelina we were shocked that she was nine. She was so tiny with a soft, whispery voice and very shy. She was precious! What we didn’t realize was that we would also meet another friend, Elisabeth and want to adopt her also! Elisabeth was thirteen and beautiful, athletic and smart. She later told us that all she ever wanted was a family, and she had been praying for one for years. She had almost given up hope. We tried to adopt both of the girls on that trip and initially we thought we could. Then, a few days later we found out we could only adopt Angelina. We’d need to come home, re-do paperwork, and go back for Elisabeth later. By this time she had already been told that she was being adopted and was walking on air! We were heartbroken and dreaded telling her that we couldn’t take her now. We promised to return as soon as possible, even though everyone was saying it may take a year. And miraculously, less than three months later we surprised her! We arrived back in Ukraine in November 2002 to take her home. As we flew out of Kiev she looked out of the window and began to cry. I put my arm around her and asked her if she was sad at leaving, or scared, or both. She said, “No Mama, I am very, very happy!”
Steve and I feel very blessed! Our lives are richer and a little crazier also. Everyone has adjusted far better than I ever would have imagined. We are closer than I ever would have thought possible. The fears I had were never realized. Sometimes I think about how close I came to letting my fears stop us from adopting. And I how much I would have missed! As Natalie put it once, “I don’t like when people say I’m adopted. I was adopted when I first got here. Now I’m your real daughter!”
After we returned home we began to share our story with people. The story was carried in several newspapers, and we even had some television interviews. At that time few people adopted older kids. Little by little as we shared about kids we knew, God touched people’s hearts. Many people went over and also adopted! They began to share with their friends, and many of them went and adopted! We were amazed! I kept a list of kids (some who weren’t even available for adoption) at my desk and every day we would pray for them. One by one, we saw God move! Some were adopted; some were reunited with their birth family (some were even adopted by Ukrainians). Recently someone asked me how many kids had been adopted as a result of that snowball effect. After 60 I stopped counting! Clearly God had a plan and we were able to play a small role.
The vision for Heart for Orphans was born in the early 2000’s when other adoptive parents and I began to get together. We were passionate about what God was showing us, and determined to get the word out about these great kids who just needed a chance. In 2004-7 we partnered with Operation Blessing to bring the Christmas musical, “THE OLD RUSSIAN SHOEMAKER” over from Ukraine. The cast featured kids from orphanages. We toured many churches throughout Virginia and North Carolina and hearts were touched! Many children were adopted! One year we brought the whole choir from our girls’ orphanage – all 41 kids! Out of that group 35 kids plus six siblings were adopted. Many people were also motivated to adopt from other orphanages, and even some from other countries!
I also felt God putting a burden on my heart for teens who would never be adopted. They would age-out of the orphanages and ended up on the streets, like my daughter Elisabeth’s friend Tanya. Tanya broke down and cried when she heard that Elisabeth was being adopted. She had spent her life in the orphanage after her mother abandoned her, and yet was not adoptable. I was passionate about helping her!
In Ukraine, most orphans leave the orphanage at 16. Officially they are supposed to go to trade school, but sadly, most leave and end up on the streets. They drift… drift into drugs, or alcohol … or drift into crime and prison. Many of the girls get lured into the sex trafficking industry. They answer an ad for a “glamour job”… maybe a model, or a nanny overseas and once they arrive, their passports are taken and they become prisoners. Because they are orphans, no one comes looking for them. No one cares!
Having three teen-aged girls who could have been in this situation just gave my husband and I such a burden for these kids! Back in 2002/2003 we began to pray that God would provide the means for a home for girls and a home for boys who have aged-out of the orphanage. How can a child who has only lived in an institution ever make good choices? It is hard enough navigating through those difficult teen years when they are in a family! How can orphans make decisions about a profession … choose a spouse … or stay on the straight and narrow without a role model?? How can they meet the living Saviour and learn to walk with Him?
In 2007 we incorporated Heart For Orphans, Inc. as a 501c3 charity. We began to actively pursue opening a Christian home for orphan teens. Watching Him put the pieces together has been awe-inspiring! We thoroughly researched existing group home ministries, and hosted a seminar in Ukraine for training house parents. And we prayed!! In 2008 we opened our first home.
Also in that year we began to partner with a Ukrainian ministry, AGAPE, who developed a curriculum for teaching the Bible in orphanages. Agape has a fulltime Bible teacher on staff in each of 32 orphanages and 10 Trade schools. This was also something God had put on my heart many years ago - sharing the Living Christ with every orphan!! I knew God had brought our ministries together. Heart For Orphans is committed to expanding the Bible classes throughout every orphanage.
Today we have five homes. God seems to be opening doors in more and more orphanages for bible classes. There are several opportunities to open more group homes. And families continue to adopt. I’ve lost count of how many children have found their “forever families”. There is no other way to explain the miraculous way these things have come together, except to know that the Lord has orchestrated everything! God is good!
~ Nancy Hathaway
Director,
Heart For Orphans